If you don’t know what tactile paving is, it’s the hard rubber pieces with bumps that they place around stores to let visually impaired people know when they are leaving the sidewalk. Seen in the image below:
I despise these things. They are ridiculous!
Before you start screaming about how insensitive I am because they are there for visually impaired people … let me clarify that I don’t lack empathy in the slightest for a person with a disability. I even researched the term handicapped (which is the term I was going to use) and found out that term is offensive now … which is why I used the more acceptable term person with a disability.
I even learned the following:
Never say “a disabled person” or “the disabled.” Say a person or people “with disabilities.” …
Never use the term “handicapped parking.” Use “accessible parking” instead …
Never use the term “impaired.” …
Never say “hidden” disabilities. …
… so put your picket sign away. You don’t need to come protest outside my house. I’m trying! I’m learning!
All I wanted to say is … do the bumps really need to be so fucking big!? Here’s my problem: I have all my groceries jammed into my bags (the ones I had to bring so I don’t have to pay the 10 cent extortion fee … see my previous post on the plastic bag scam). As I go over these outrageously high profile bumps all my groceries start falling out of the bags and cases of soda on the bottom rack of the cart starts falling off into the street. It’s bumpier than a fucking roller coaster.
Oh! … and a word to the wise … don’t even think about opening any of those sodas any time soon after they’ve gone over those bumps. Trust me! How about we tone down the bumps a little bit. The person that’s visually impaired will still be able to sense the bumps … but it’s not going to shake everything loose out of my fucking cart onto the street!
I recently went to dinner at an unspecified restaurant. I don’t want to call them out because this was the first time that it’s happened here … and I love the olives from their garden. I wouldn’t want them to think of threatening me with a libel suit for saying their name and something that isn’t flattering. It’s the first time it’s happened at this “unnamed” restaurant … but it’s not the first time it’s happened when we’ve gone out to eat.
We entered the establishment at 9pm on a Sunday. Not really what I would call dinner rush hour. As I’m walking in, I notice maybe 10 people in the waiting area. I look to the left and I see an empty dining area … probably 15 empty tables. I look to the right and I see a half filled dining area. I assume that maybe the crowd in the waiting area is a large party and waiting for the rest of their group. I arrive at the hostess desk and tell them I’d like a table for two.
“Okay … the wait is about 25 minutes.”
I look again at the empty dining area to the left … then to the right at the half filled dining area. As I’m about to say “Are you fucking serious!?” … I take a deep breath and mumble okay.
(I figured I can let it go for once and let my beautiful wife have a nice evening without me making a scene. That’s not to say I didn’t grumble about it when I came back and sat next to her while we waited for 25 minutes … but I’m sure that was more bearable than my normal M.O.)
When the hockey puck finally buzzes, we go to the hostess desk and follow her back to our table towards the back. While we are walking back, I take inventory of the people dining in the restaurant and the large number of empty tables. Why did we have to wait 25 minutes when there are clearly plenty of tables open!? I’ve never worked in the restaurant business so maybe I’m missing something … but it sure seems to me like they could have seated us right away! It didn’t appear they had only one server because there were a few that appeared not to be doing much … which just infuriated me more.
Why do restaurants do this!? They’ll close off one side of a restaurant and only seat one side and make people wait. Why don’t you open both sides of the fucking restaurant and seat everybody! Maybe they have a good reason for doing it … but I can’t figure it out. On it’s face, it looks like they don’t give a shit about their customers. Are they trying to make it appear like they are so busy … by filling up one side? If that’s the case … then make sure I can’t see the other side of the restaurant that’s empty …you dumbshits! You’re not fooling anybody.
“25 minutes!? … Why can’t you seat me at one of those 15 empty tables!?
I watched 2 couples walk in and walk out when they were told that it was a 25 minute wait. I’m no rocket scientist … but it seems to me that you just lost business for a reason that seems completely fixable. I’m not sure what business model they are following but they might want to take another look at it and make some tweaks. I’m just saying …
10-year-old boy charged with assault for injuring classmate in dodgeball-like game
Seriously!? You’re going to charge a 10 year old with aggravated assault because he hit another boy with a ball … in a game where the object is to hit someone with the ball!? Apparently, the boy that was hit has a medical condition that makes head injuries especially dangerous. Then why the fuck was he playing the game!?
Here’s a little snippet from the article:
The mother of the boy hit by the ball told WXYZ that her son suffered a black eye and had a bruise on his nose. She said her son had been hit twice before in the face with a ball and the incident in April was the final straw. “I tried not to let it get to this point,” the mother said, adding that she was worried for her son’s safety.
NOW you’re worried for his safety! If he has a medical condition, why didn’t you tell him he couldn’t play anymore after the first time it happened. I understand you don’t want to baby the kid and ostracize him by not letting him play with his friends but come on! I am no fan of unsolicited parental advice but in this case … I’ll make an exception. If you’re son has a medical condition … then he shouldn’t be playing sports like this!
Then there is the ridiculous school district officials. After the incident, they suspended him for one day. That seems reasonable to me to show the young man what he did was not acceptable. The mother of the boy thought that was the end of her son’s punishment also. Then a couple days later, she receives a call from the juvenile court that her son was being charged with aggravated assault! The school officials contacted the authorities over a playground incident!
What happened to bringing the kid into the principal’s office and making him apologize to the other boy. Make them shake hands and then tell him not to do it again … or else there will be severe consequences? Where is the boys will be boys attitude? I understand once they hit teenage years that probably doesn’t work anymore … but he’s 10!
The zero tolerance policy that schools have adopted is ridiculous! How did it come to this? In my opinion, the parents are to blame. Schools were allowed to handle situations like this when I was growing up and the parents backed the school’s decision. Even if the parent thought it was ridiculous, they’d tell their kid “Well, this is what happens … so don’t do it again!” Now you have helicopter parents that come in and defend their children at all costs and threaten to sue the school district. The schools are just too scared of being sued, so they pass something like this off to the authorities so they don’t have to deal with any repercussions.
Then there’s the assistant prosecuting attorney who looked at the case and decided there was enough evidence to charge the boy with aggravated assault. Even if there was … do you really need to!? There aren’t more pressing things to prosecute in your county? It’s amazing to me that not one person involved in this case didn’t stop and say “This has gone too far.”
But that’s the problem with the world today. Everybody is over-sensitive and common sense has disappeared. Not to mention that the legal system has become a joke that you can sue people for anything. Even if it seems like a ridiculous case on it’s face. Do you trust the system to come to a reasonable outcome? A perfect example is if a burglar hurts himself while robbing you, he can sue you for damages. Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself: https://www.homevestors.com/blog/crazy-stories-homeowners-sued/
I understand that schools have a lot to worry about in today’s world, like school shootings and drugs. But is it too much to ask to look at things on a case by case basis instead of zero tolerance … and realize that some things don’t need to rise to a level that the authorities get involved. We don’t need to charge a kindergartner with sexual assault for kissing a little girl. Just like we don’t need this little boy brought up on criminal charges over a dodgeball injury. Lucky for him … the prosecutor was feeling nice and the charges were finally dismissed. How a school yard incident reached it’s way to that level is beyond me.
Why can’t I just leave the price tag on and just Sharpie out the price?
“Exactly!” … says every guy reading this right now.
Well … apparently guys … it’s tacky to leave the tag on. So, in the interest of trying not to appear as a neanderthal with no etiquette, I’ve resigned myself to start removing the tags on gifts that I give. The problem is that when you take the tag off, it leaves behind a sticky mess!
This doesn’t happen with every price tag though! Some stores have tags that come off easily and leave no sticky residue behind. So why can’t ALL the stores use the same easy to peel off price tags!?
We can send a man to the moon (I don’t want to hear it conspiracy theorists)
we can grow a human ear under the skin of a rat (I know! I know!)
we can grow skin in a lab (Again … I know! but it IS pretty amazing!)
we can communicate with a satellite a billion miles away (no joke!)
we have virtual keyboards (useless … but pretty cool!)
… but we can’t get everybody to use price tags that don’t do this!
Sure, you can try to do the Scotch Tape stick-and-pull … but that never gets all the residue off. You can use Goof-Off sometimes … unless the tag is stuck on a section that would be discolored. You can try just scraping and rubbing the residue off dry but that usually creates an even bigger smudge that looks worse. And if you decide you’re going to try to just wrap the gift without addressing the sticky area (and hope they don’t notice) … somehow a stray hair always seems to find it’s way onto the sticky area that you can’t get off!
Now … I realize there are more pressing world issues that need to be addressed before this one. But honestly, those problems are very complex and take a lot of people and a lot of time to fix. This one is easy to solve, so let’s move this one to the front of the line. We just need to get the cheap-ass stores who use those shitty price tags to spend the lousy extra penny to get with the program. They can even pass the penny cost on to me … I’ll pay it! It’s better than having my whole mood take a shit after spending 30 minutes trying to get all the damn price tag off!
I got my coffee, settled into my worn out spot on the couch and started watching the morning news. Mostly the same old shit … weather, traffic … then this gem of a story comes across my screen:
Macy’s Ripped For Line of “Body-Shaming” Plates
Apparently, some insecure woman took offense to these and wanted to know how to get these banned in all 50 states. When she looked at these, she saw body-shaming. Seriously!? It’s meant as a joke! Even their website says:
“… so to keep you from overindulging, our tableware collection provides helpful – and hilarious – visual cues.”
They are stating it’s meant to be funny! Why don’t you just calm the fuck down and stop trying to make everything into a cause you have to fight. If you don’t like it, then don’t buy it …but don’t demand it be recalled just because you don’t like it!
How come no “activist” made a big deal about body-shaming when Bloomberg started pushing the soda ban in New York. Wasn’t he trying to “body-shame” fat people? The whole law came about because of obesity in America. How come no one dragged him over the coals for not accepting fat people the way they are? Or is that not body-shaming if you’re talking about obese people … because that’s okay? It sure seems like there is some hypocrisy is this body-shaming argument.
There are numerous other people who might have seen the humor in these plates and purchased them. If they were truly offensive then no one would have bought them and they would have been pulled off the shelf anyway.
I’m tired of the rampant activism and the political correctness that follows. How did we get to a point where a single insecure person can make a $21 billion company, like Macy’s, shiver in fear and pull a product!? Political correctness has gone way too far! No one is allowed to do anything outside of the collective snowflake idea. These loud-mouthed, self-proclaimed social justice warriors have essentially become the thought police from Orwell’s 1984. The irony is … if you asked them if they approve of someone telling them what they can think or say, they would scream “NO!” … but they’re too stupid to realize that’s exactly what they’re doing!
It’s disappointing how quickly these days companies will apologize and grovel, for some product that is misconstrued or labeled as insensitive. Quickly getting on their social media to apologize personally to a single individual whose feelings are hurt … and promising to do better. I’d have a lot more respect for a company that said “I’m sorry you feel that way … but others find it funny, so we’re keeping it available for them to purchase.”
Guess what activists … you’re not the only ones living here. There are 300 million people living in these United States. Are you so arrogant to think that you get to speak for all of us. Guess what … I’m one of them and I don’t want or need you speaking for me! Just because you find something offensive doesn’t mean I will!
This is one of the major downfalls of social media. It’s just too simple for someone to voice their (sometimes stupid) opinion and have it seen by the company instantly. If they had to sit down, write a letter, address the envelope and mail it off … they’d definitely say “Fuck it. That’s too much work.” But since it’s as easy as typing on your phone and hitting send … any gut reaction is instantly posted. I’m not sure about you … but I’ve had a few instances where my gut reaction was to say one thing but didn’t. Then as time went on and I thought about my reaction, I realized it was an overreaction and I was glad I didn’t say anything.
Maybe … we need a little more of that thinking before reacting?
Maybe … some people need to grow thicker skin and not take everything personally?
Maybe … some people should not worry about speaking for others?
OH! … and maybe for people to find their fucking sense of humor that vanished when political correctness infiltrated our society.
I’m not talking about the obvious when you’re in a movie theater. That should be a given by now. What I’m talking about is when someone is having a conversation with you and their phone starts going off and they make no movement to silence it. I’m not talking about a beep from a text or a chime from some app. No … what I’m talking about is when someone is calling them and they just let their ringtone play. Of course it’s always the most obnoxious ringtone you’ve ever heard … and it lasts for what seems like an eternity.
Now … you might be saying:
“But they don’t want to be rude and interrupt when you’re talking.”
I can understand that … in theory … but if your fucking phone is ringing at top volume while we are conversing, I’m already interrupted and can’t even think straight anymore. The words coming out of my mouth at this point are jumbled and not making any sense because they are the remnants of my last thought before it shifted to “Aren’t you going to shut that fucking thing off!?”
The flip side of that is when they are speaking and their phone starts going off. They ignore it and act like nothing is happening and talk right through it. Although they may be tone deaf to it … it’s all I hear NOW! I see lips moving but all I hear is an annoying ringtone. You would think by the look on my face (which I’m told I don’t hide very well) it would be a clue that I’m not hearing a word you’re saying anymore … but apparently not … because you’re still talking … and it’s still fucking playing!
Grab a fucking clue! Cell phones aren’t new. The etiquette surrounding them is pretty established at this point! If you’re not reaching for your phone to silence it while we’re talking … it says you couldn’t give two shits about me. If that’s the case, I instantly have no respect for you and I won’t hesitate to ask: “Are you deaf … or just an asshole?”
Let’s get this out of the way first. Hate mail goes to comments@todayspetpeeve.com … when I hurt your delicate sensitivities. Okay, let’s dive in.
First off, I don’t have a problem with someone being gay. If you can find someone in this fucked up world who will put up with your stupid ass and still love you … then go for it … man or woman. And … I don’t think you can fake being gay. I don’t look at guys and feel the same way I feel when I look at women. If I’m being totally honest though … I think you’re cheating the system a little bit if you’re gay. Only because men and women’s brains are SO different in the way they think that by being with the same sex you don’t have to deal with someone who makes decisions that make no fucking sense to you … but you love them anyway.
So, there are women who love men … men who love men … and women who love women. But in these equations … there are men and there are women. There is NO third gender. If you have a tab … you are a man. If you have a slot … you are a woman. What you do with those parts can classify you into a group … but there are no other parts that create another gender!
Pangender. What the fuck is that!? It’s defined as being more than one gender. Okay … that’s what a hermaphrodite is. You’re born with both parts … tab and slot. This is the only person who gets to choose what “they identify as” when asked. But that’s not what pangender means in this world that I’ve found myself living in. Pangender means they consider themselves a member of all genders. Again … if you’ve got both parts then this describes you. If you don’t …
… there are 2 genders: male and female.
Based upon my most current searching there are 81 genders. Come on Facebook! You only list 56 (listed below):
Agender
Androgyne
Androgynous
Bigender
Cis
Cisgender
Cis Female
Cis Male
Cis Man
Cis Woman
Cisgender Female
Cisgender Male
Cisgender Man
Cisgender Woman
Female to Male
FTM
Gender Fluid
Gender Nonconforming
Gender Questioning
Gender Variant
Genderqueer
Intersex
Male to Female
MTF
Neither
Neutrois
Non-binary
Other
Pangender
Trans
Trans*
Trans Female
Trans* Female
Trans Male
Trans* Male
Trans Man
Trans* Man
Trans Person
Trans* Person
Trans Woman
Trans* Woman
Transfeminine
Transgender
Transgender Female
Transgender Male
Transgender Man
Transgender Person
Transgender Woman
Transmasculine
Transsexual
Transsexual Female
Transsexual Male
Transsexual Man
Transsexual Person
Transsexual Woman
Two-Spirit
Are you deciding that 25 of them are just making some shit up!? Exactly! This just illustrates my point. Everyday someone is adding new “genders” because the current ones don’t fit them. Seriously!? You don’t fit within one of the 81 groups!? Get the fuck out of here! Everyone these days has to be so unique and different! Get over yourself!
Identifying as Neither!? Get the fuck out of here! Unless you’re a eunuch, you’re falling into one of the two categories: male or female.
Identifying as Two-Spirit!? Get the fuck out of here! Wikipedia defines it as:
The term two-spirit was created in 1990 at the Indigenous lesbian and gay international gathering in Winnipeg, and specifically chosen to distinguish and distance Native American/First Nations people from non-Native peoples.
So now the Indians … (sorry!) … Native Americans … (Fuck!) … indigenous people (being politically correct is so difficult these days) can’t just be gay or lesbian … they have to have their own names for it!? This shit is impossible to keep up with … and ridiculous!
Look! You can “feel” however you want. You can feel like a man even though you have a vagina. Dress in combat boots, buzz your hair and roll a pack of cigarettes in your white T-shirt but let’s all agree that you are still … a woman. On the flip side … you can feel like a woman and wear a garter belt and bra, put on makeup and wear a turtle neck to try to hide your Adam’s Apple but if you have a penis, let’s all agree that you are still … a man. If you want to feel a certain way … knock yourself out … but let’s cut the shit about how you are neither a male or female. Everybody falls into one of those 2 genders based upon what parts you’re sporting. I’ll be waiting for the emails.
Have you ever gone to shake someone’s hand and you get a limp hand that doesn’t squeeze. It’s fucking creepy! The next words out of their mouth could be that I’ve won The Lottery and I wouldn’t hear them because I will still be in that moment aghast at what is happening. I will be putting all my effort into keeping the look of disgust off my face as I look at you. If I’m able to hide the aversion from my face as our hands detach, know that I will commit you and our meeting to memory. You have definitely made a first impression and I will definitely remember you … but not for the reasons you may have hoped.
When shaking hands there is a quick back and forth that happens as each person tries to equally match the squeeze that the other person is giving. It happens in milliseconds and is almost done autonomously. You don’t start heavy handed but you at least have to start with a little bit of a squeeze and then adjust! Some males come in with a bone crushing squeeze …usually to compensate for something they are lacking elsewhere.
They believe by doing this they are establishing they are the Alpha Male … but really it’s to distract you from how insecure they are. These guys are assholes! Obviously when shaking a woman’s hand you wouldn’t apply as much pressure as shaking a man’s hand but you still must give a slight squeeze. Understandably, you don’t want to hurt the woman’s hand but if you give no squeeze at all … the woman will feel the same way I described above … and she will think you’re creepy!
Handshakes are an odd thing. No one ever really talks about them or gives pointers. Your old man should have told you that men always give a firm handshake but until you’ve actually shaken someone’s hand, you’re not really sure how much pressure to apply. To make things even more difficult, everybody applies a different amount of pressure … so every time is different. Upon doing it repeatedly you kind of find your comfort zone and gauge people going in. It’s not an exact science though because sometimes you gauge that a person will have a firm handshake and you get a limp wrist … thus quickly making you the asshole stated above … even though you thought you were coming in “neutral.”
You could have a totally yoked out guy but if he comes in with a limp hand you are going to be thinking “What the fuck!?” and see him as weak (and creepy) … even though he clearly has strength. Thus … proving handshakes are important and we judge people based upon how well they do them. So, if you present a dead, limp hand when shaking hands … start working on it immediately because you are creeping people the fuck out!
At the risk of sounding like our grandparents with the “I remember when …” statement … I simply can’t avoid it. I remember when you could go into a Little Caesar’s Pizza and the $5 pizzas were Hot-N-Ready and you could walk out with one in a few minutes. NOW … the only ones they have ready are the $6 pizzas that have extra cheese and pepperoni. If you want a $5 pizza, you have to order it and wait 15 minutes. I don’t want the extra fucking cheese and pepperoni … and I don’t want to pay the extra $1. Go ahead … call me cheap. I wear it as a badge of honor. Why the hell did they have to go and change this!? Everybody always feels the need to change things. Some things are fine just the way they are!
Remember Coca-Cola changing their recipe? That didn’t quite go the way they anticipated, did it!? What did it last … 3 months and then they brought it back as Coke Classic. Pepsi was too stupid to learn from Coca-Cola’s mistake, so they tried Crystal Pepsi. It was dead in a year. The point I’m making is there are certain things that are just Americana and people don’t want them changing. I believe Little Caesar’s falls into that category … so be careful with the changes David. I’m just saying … you don’t want to have what happened to Coke and Pepsi happen to you.
So … with my pet peeve stated and out of the way … I do have to admit that the business side of me does admire their business acumen. They were able to raise their prices without raising their prices. They created a “new” pizza (ExtraMostBestest) that is basically the same (albeit a little more cheese and pepperoni but probably only pennies more to make) and charge more. They kept the $5 pizza on the menu but make you order it knowing that we are ALLway too fucking impatient … so we’ll just get whatever pizza is ready.
“It’s a dollar more? Fine! Fuck it … I don’t want to wait!”
Shit! I hate it when my pet peeves intersect with my respect for someone’s cleverness. Nice move Mr. Scrivano … but I still want my $5 pizza ready when I walk in.
I guess I’m not “hip” or “with the times.” You can guess by the descriptive terms I’ve just used I’ve proven myself to be aged out of the current societal trends and popular vernacular that the current, younger generation uses. In layman’s terms: I’m old. I don’t remember when it happened and I didn’t even realize it when it was happening … but it happened. So maybe I’m from a different generation or out of touch and it’s become accepted now for dads to call their sons “honey” … but to me it’s just weird! Honey is a term reserved for dads to call their daughters, moms to call their sons … even wives to call their husbands … but dads to their boys!?
Apparently, masculine toxicity (whatever the fuck that is!?) is a bad thing now and boys need to grow up to be more sensitive. As a society … sorry to say … we are raising our sons to become pussies. News flash! The world is a cruel place. The world doesn’t care if your feelings are hurt. The world doesn’t give you time to retreat to a safe space and cry through your feelings. As a male, you need to grow a thick skin and be able to deal with unpleasant things and assert yourself. Whether you like this or not is irrelevant! That is the world we live in.
Now before you start looking for the comments button to tell me what an asshole I am with an outdated, neanderthal mindset … just hear me out!
You can raise your kids however you want. That’s the great thing about America … Freedom! If you want to raise your sons to be sensitive … that’s your right! If you want to raise your sons to be in touch with their feelings and have a good cry … that’s your right too! If you want to raise your sons to be non-binary (I personally don’t buy into that stupid shit … but whatever) … that is your right!BUT … your son is going to have to interact with other boys who may not have been raised that way.
As an adult, you are well aware of how cruel kids can be! No parent wants their kids teased but if dad is dropping him off at school and says “Have a good day, honey” and his classmates hear … he is going to be teased. You can think the other kids are little pricks for doing that. You can think the other kids have terrible parents for not teaching them better. None of that is going to change the fact that your son is going to get teased.
I know, I know … Fuck you! I can call my son whatever endearing name I want to! Go ahead … I’m not telling you that you can’t … but think of how it’s going to affect your son. Is it going to cause him problems? Probably. I wish that weren’t the case … but I think it is. Maybe it’s not the case. Maybe I’m just an old man that doesn’t understand the way things are now but there are so many other names you could call him: buddy, pal, Bubba, dude, little man, champ, sport, chief, fella, boss, slugger, son. Any of these other terms of endearment will still show him you love him … but won’t get his ass beat!
Send your hate mail to comments@todayspetpeeve.com. I’ll be waiting.
TodaysPetPeeve 