A Limp Hand Shake

Have you ever gone to shake someone’s hand and you get a limp hand that doesn’t squeeze. It’s fucking creepy! The next words out of their mouth could be that I’ve won The Lottery and I wouldn’t hear them because I will still be in that moment aghast at what is happening. I will be putting all my effort into keeping the look of disgust off my face as I look at you. If I’m able to hide the aversion from my face as our hands detach, know that I will commit you and our meeting to memory. You have definitely made a first impression and I will definitely remember you … but not for the reasons you may have hoped.

When shaking hands there is a quick back and forth that happens as each person tries to equally match the squeeze that the other person is giving. It happens in milliseconds and is almost done autonomously. You don’t start heavy handed but you at least have to start with a little bit of a squeeze and then adjust! Some males come in with a bone crushing squeeze …usually to compensate for something they are lacking elsewhere.

They believe by doing this they are establishing they are the Alpha Male … but really it’s to distract you from how insecure they are. These guys are assholes! Obviously when shaking a woman’s hand you wouldn’t apply as much pressure as shaking a man’s hand but you still must give a slight squeeze. Understandably, you don’t want to hurt the woman’s hand but if you give no squeeze at all … the woman will feel the same way I described above … and she will think you’re creepy!

Handshakes are an odd thing. No one ever really talks about them or gives pointers. Your old man should have told you that men always give a firm handshake but until you’ve actually shaken someone’s hand, you’re not really sure how much pressure to apply. To make things even more difficult, everybody applies a different amount of pressure … so every time is different. Upon doing it repeatedly you kind of find your comfort zone and gauge people going in. It’s not an exact science though because sometimes you gauge that a person will have a firm handshake and you get a limp wrist … thus quickly making you the asshole stated above … even though you thought you were coming in “neutral.”

You could have a totally yoked out guy but if he comes in with a limp hand you are going to be thinking “What the fuck!?” and see him as weak (and creepy) … even though he clearly has strength. Thus … proving handshakes are important and we judge people based upon how well they do them. So, if you present a dead, limp hand when shaking hands … start working on it immediately because you are creeping people the fuck out!

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