Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready

At the risk of sounding like our grandparents with the “I remember when …” statement … I simply can’t avoid it. I remember when you could go into a Little Caesar’s Pizza and the $5 pizzas were Hot-N-Ready and you could walk out with one in a few minutes. NOW … the only ones they have ready are the $6 pizzas that have extra cheese and pepperoni. If you want a $5 pizza, you have to order it and wait 15 minutes. I don’t want the extra fucking cheese and pepperoni … and I don’t want to pay the extra $1. Go ahead … call me cheap. I wear it as a badge of honor. Why the hell did they have to go and change this!? Everybody always feels the need to change things. Some things are fine just the way they are!

Remember Coca-Cola changing their recipe? That didn’t quite go the way they anticipated, did it!? What did it last … 3 months and then they brought it back as Coke Classic. Pepsi was too stupid to learn from Coca-Cola’s mistake, so they tried Crystal Pepsi. It was dead in a year. The point I’m making is there are certain things that are just Americana and people don’t want them changing. I believe Little Caesar’s falls into that category … so be careful with the changes David. I’m just saying … you don’t want to have what happened to Coke and Pepsi happen to you.

So … with my pet peeve stated and out of the way … I do have to admit that the business side of me does admire their business acumen. They were able to raise their prices without raising their prices. They created a “new” pizza (ExtraMostBestest) that is basically the same (albeit a little more cheese and pepperoni but probably only pennies more to make) and charge more. They kept the $5 pizza on the menu but make you order it knowing that we are ALL way too fucking impatient … so we’ll just get whatever pizza is ready.

“It’s a dollar more? Fine! Fuck it … I don’t want to wait!”

Shit! I hate it when my pet peeves intersect with my respect for someone’s cleverness. Nice move Mr. Scrivano … but I still want my $5 pizza ready when I walk in.