Maybe I grew up in a different time … but I was raised to be chivalrous. For any young readers I might have, that don’t know what that term means, it dates back to
Medieval times … sorry … Game of Thrones times.
The Code of Chivalry was a moral system which went beyond rules of combat and introduced the concept of Chivalrous conduct – qualities idealized by the Medieval knights such as bravery, courtesy, honor and great gallantry toward women. The Codes of chivalry also incorporated the notion of courtly love.
In layman’s term it’s similar to being a gentleman: things such as being polite, calm, and considerate:
The most common perception for a gentleman is a man who ensures that he is chivalrous towards women. The term attaches itself to men who are courteous and treat women with respect.
I have to say, I am so glad I am married and not dating in the current environment. The whole women’s empowerment thing currently going on is like a minefield for a guy. If he’s just trying to be nice, it could be received as condescending or sexist.
- I can open my own door! Do you think I’m weak?
- Why are you paying the bill!? Do you think I can’t afford my own meal?
- What do you mean by … I look beautiful? Am I just a piece of meat to you?
- Why do you have to drive!? Do you think you’re a better driver than I am?
The whole idea of what it means to be a “man” and chivalrous is changing because women’s attitudes are changing … and men don’t know how to act or what’s acceptable anymore. So unfortunately, guys treat women like they treat their buddies and personally, I think it’s a shame.
I was at the gas station recently filling up and looked over to see a guy sitting in the driver’s seat looking at his phone while his female passenger was out pumping gas. Now call me old-fashioned … but that is just wrong! I’m not saying a woman is incapable of pumping gas but if you are both there … come on man! Get your bitch-ass out of the car and pump the gas. I understand that I don’t know the whole story and maybe she wants to show that she is capable of doing it herself but you’re killing chivalry.
I’ve noticed on many occasions guys letting their women do everything. Maybe she wants to … I don’t know … but to me it appears like they feel important to have someone take care of them … like their mommy used to do. To me, they just look like boys … not men! Grow up and be a man! I know many of them think:
“Look! I’ve got her whipped and she does everything for me!”
… but I’ll bet you she’s just waiting for her Prince Charming to come and rescue her … because you’re not him!
Maybe, I’m wrong! I always thought women wanted someone who will take care of them. Maybe I DO have an outdated look on genders and the way they are perceived today. Maybe today’s woman doesn’t want someone who is going to take care of her? I can’t imagine why not, though. Who wouldn’t want someone taking care of them? Isn’t most people’s fantasy to win the lottery and have servants take care of you!?
I guess today’s woman doesn’t want to feel like they can’t do something … so they do everything themselves to prove that point. Although it may be empowering for women … it’s creating an unwanted side-effect. It’s creating a bunch of men who are self-centered and act like pussies.
Women … I don’t see anything wrong with letting someone take care of you … if you take care of them! It’s called division of labor. My wife cooks for me and she doesn’t have a problem doing so because if there is a problem with the car she knows she doesn’t have to deal with it and it’s going to be my problem. That probably seems so archaic to this generation and I’ll probably be accused of perpetuating an outdated stereotype but honestly … I’m fine with that! I think deep down, most women still want a man that will take care of them but can’t say that out loud for the fear of being chastised by the new feminist.
I can’t understand why men don’t continue this tradition regardless of the current societal outlook. Although some women want to kill it, I don’t see any harm in it. Acts of chivalry don’t mean a woman is weak. It means she is respected … and I don’t know how that idea got flipped? Obviously the way it’s displayed throughout the ages has changed because no guy today is going to take off his coat and put it down over a puddle of mud … but the idea is not outdated. Being chivalrous shows that you care about her and put her feelings before your own. I don’t see how that can be a bad thing in any way.
Although the current generation may see chivalry as an outdated, sexist, power play … I’m still going to open the door for my wife, pay for dinner, tell her how beautiful she is and drive when we are together because she is amazing and deserves to be treated like a Queen. I know … I’m a neanderthal.
3 thoughts on “The Death of Chivalry”
The term chivalry loosely refers to informal codes of conduct developed by European knights in feudal systems starting in the h century. These codes differed based on region and time period, and covered issues like whom knights should show mercy to and whom it was okay to attack.
Finally someone said it! I am very very much a woman, romantic, sensual. sassy, professional and I think I married the most Chivalrous man! In fact after a couple of dates what did it was how he made sure after everyone got up from a dining room table that while I was taking forever in the restroom, he picked up my jacket, folded it and hung it on his arm with my purse without giving a hoot what anyone thought and waited for me. Now after almost 20 years married which still feel like yesteryear, here’s the funny thing- I could be the best feminist because I race cars, know my tools, know how to fix crap whenever needed and even got a knack for fixing plumbing issues that I don’t even know how that happened! BUT i can definitely throw it down in the kitchen with a mean lasagna or whatever and I do mainly clean the house, share laundry duties, have no problem doing so day after day- why would I? I love my man like crazy and he loves me. I LOVE taking care of HIM and he’s an amazing father to our children BUT he treats me like a queen and takes care of me every single day as well.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and I’m glad you agree! Luckily, you found your husband 20 years ago when the idea was still in fashion. It sounds like you and your husband have got it all figured out! May the next 20 years be even more amazing and hopefully your kids will learn from your example and keep the idea of chivalry going into the next generation.