You are probably wondering what the fuck a bad angle pedestrian is?
It’s a polite term I made up for the asshole who crosses the parking lot at such a long angle that you can’t get by them in your car because they are blocking the road. You are forced to just idle behind them as you watch someone else steal the parking spot you were trying to get to.
You know damn well they hear your car … yet they don’t alter their path to get the fuck out of the way! I know they fucking hear me … because I rev my engine to make sure they know I’m there (I know, I know … I’m a dick). This usually elicits a scowl over the shoulder and a slowing of their pace … as if going slower is even possible. If my window is down, I will passive-aggressively say something loud along the lines of:
“Yeah, just keep walking down the middle of the fucking road … don’t worry about me trying to get by!”
Yeah, it’s immature … but it’s really the only option I have when dealing with such a self-absorbed asshole who has no consideration for anybody else.
In my head, I fantasize about flooring it. As I burn rubber towards them … they turn their head and I see the utter shock in their eyes as they realize what’s happening …
… moments before they jump out of the way! I screech to a stop next to them lying on the ground and tell them to get the fuck out of the way next time!
As my mind shifts back to reality … and I’m still stuck behind them walking at a snail’s pace … I realize they’re just people trying to get somewhere and I wouldn’t want to hurt them. You’re so gullible! They’re a fucking asshole and I’d love to teach them a lesson … but I don’t want to go to jail!
I can’t comprehend the self-righteousness of some people. What the fuck makes them think their time is more valuable than mine!? What makes them think they are so fucking special!? It’s entitlement in one of it’s many forms.
Well … maybe they should pay attention to their fucking surroundings then! Although I’d love to run them over to teach them a lesson … there are other people who just aren’t paying attention and will run over your ass on accident! Do you know how many people are driving and watching videos these days!? The number is staggering!
So next time you are walking to your car … be aware of the path you are taking. Are you being courteous to the people around you … or are you being an asshole?
And if you hear a car behind you revving it’s engine … you might want to get the fuck out of the way … because today may be the day I just don’t give a shit anymore!