Bad Angle Pedestrians

You are probably wondering what the fuck a bad angle pedestrian is?

It’s a polite term I made up for the asshole who crosses the parking lot at such a long angle that you can’t get by them in your car because they are blocking the road. You are forced to just idle behind them as you watch someone else steal the parking spot you were trying to get to.

You know damn well they hear your car … yet they don’t alter their path to get the fuck out of the way! I know they fucking hear me … because I rev my engine to make sure they know I’m there (I know, I know … I’m a dick). This usually elicits a scowl over the shoulder and a slowing of their pace … as if going slower is even possible. If my window is down, I will passive-aggressively say something loud along the lines of:

“Yeah, just keep walking down the middle of the fucking road … don’t worry about me trying to get by!”

Yeah, it’s immature … but it’s really the only option I have when dealing with such a self-absorbed asshole who has no consideration for anybody else.

In my head, I fantasize about flooring it. As I burn rubber towards them … they turn their head and I see the utter shock in their eyes as they realize what’s happening …

… moments before they jump out of the way! I screech to a stop next to them lying on the ground and tell them to get the fuck out of the way next time!

As my mind shifts back to reality … and I’m still stuck behind them walking at a snail’s pace … I realize they’re just people trying to get somewhere and I wouldn’t want to hurt them. You’re so gullible! They’re a fucking asshole and I’d love to teach them a lesson … but I don’t want to go to jail!

I can’t comprehend the self-righteousness of some people. What the fuck makes them think their time is more valuable than mine!? What makes them think they are so fucking special!? It’s entitlement in one of it’s many forms.

Well … maybe they should pay attention to their fucking surroundings then! Although I’d love to run them over to teach them a lesson … there are other people who just aren’t paying attention and will run over your ass on accident! Do you know how many people are driving and watching videos these days!? The number is staggering!

So next time you are walking to your car … be aware of the path you are taking. Are you being courteous to the people around you … or are you being an asshole?

And if you hear a car behind you revving it’s engine … you might want to get the fuck out of the way … because today may be the day I just don’t give a shit anymore!

Current State of Politics

The current state of politics in this country is a complete shitshow. Before you automatically align me with whatever political leaning you have so that you can feel like we’re on the same page … STOP! This has nothing to do with the left or the right … because as far as I’m concerned both sides are equally fucked-up. The whole institution has become so perverted that burning it to the ground and starting over seems to be the only logical solution.

Note to F.B.I.there’s no need to come knocking on my door. I don’t have a manifesto and I’m not literally planning some elaborate scheme to “burn down” the government … so just relax. There’s plenty of real threats you should focus on rather than some pessimistic whiner with a blog.

Both Democrats and Republicans are so focused on proving to us how egregious the other side is … they spend no time doing their fucking job of legislating. WAIT!! I may have found the silver lining in this whole mess. When the parties are so focused on showing us what evil pieces of shit the other side is … they don’t have time to pass ridiculous laws … (like these) … so maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem.

There is no high road anymore. Politicians used to try to keep a certain level of decorum. There were certain unspoken rules and topics you didn’t touch on. Somewhere along the line, politicians started tip toeing into those topics and no one called them out on it. The media ignored their journalistic oath in favor of ratings … and politics just slowly devolved until we reached the point we are at today. I suppose politicians are just a reflection of our society. Clearly we are heading towards Idiocracy!*

Politics used to be a chess game. You would outsmart your opponent and appear to be the better choice for the constituent’s vote. Politicians would convince you that they were worried about the same things you’re worried about and they are just like you. A politician would spend their time convincing you of the Utopian society they envision if elected and make outrageous statements about how they will make it a reality.

Now politicians just spend their time and money slinging shit and telling you what a complete fuck up the other candidate is. No vision necessary. Now they just try to convince you they are the lesser of two evils. It’s the equivalent of the nation being on an episode of Jerry Springer.

I realize that politics have always been somewhat dirty but it seems to me like it is worse than any time I can remember in recent history. A majority of the populace has no idea about civics anymore. If you are currently saying “I know about Honda. They make good cars.” … then you are part of the problem dumb shit! (Please click unfollow immediately!) Nobody knows their rights or duties to live in this crumbling Democratic Republic. All people are interested in anymore is what the politician promises to give to them. Hard work is a thing of the past. Entitlement is the new norm.

I don’t see any viable candidates on any fucking side anymore. Anybody who actually might be worth a shit steers clear of politics because they know they won’t be able to change a system so entrenched in cronyism. The whole system has become an elitist cash cow. People that are elected to office usually look for a similar office when termed out because what other job can you vote yourself a raise!? Politics were never meant to be a career! There are many candidates that campaigned on changing the system but once elected … they get devoured by the system. They find they are trying to change an establishment so large that they eventually succumb to things they promised to change … and thus become part of the problem.

The only hope we have is that most things are cyclical. Eventually things will turn around. Whoa … sorry! That sounded optimistic. I didn’t mean it! Actually … it is more likely that we will go the way of the Roman Empire. So self-aggrandizing and corrupt that we crumble from the inside out. Maybe not. Possibly there is someone in the fringe who will have a call to action and sweep change into our system. Help bring politics back into a meaningful state of affairs. Bring it back to a level of talking about issues and working on problems that will make our lives better.

Yeah … let’s believe that! I’m reminded of an old adage:

“Wish in one hand, shit in the other … and see which one fills up first.”

anonymous

* In 2006, Mike Judge made a hilarious movie called Idiocracy. It chronicles the decline of civilization and the human race becoming a race of slow-witted, stupid idiots. In this movie the office of POTUS has become a joke. Terry Crews (top picture of this blog with Trump) portrays President Camacho in a hilarious take on what the Office of the President will be like in the future. Nostradamus has nothing on Mike Judge. This is definitely a gotta see movie!