Google Maps

Am I the only one who gets pissed when I type in something specific and Google comes back with unrequested results!? For example … I was going on a trip and I typed in Hilton Hotels into Google Maps. What pops up!? Every hotel in the area … except a Hilton. If I wanted to see every hotel in the area, then I would have searched the generic term “hotel” and not been specific. If I type in specifically Hilton … then just show me the fucking Hilton hotels and nothing else!

I don’t want to see a Marriott. I don’t want to see a Hyatt. I don’t want to see a Best Western and I certainly don’t want to see any Motel 6 pop up! I want Hilton hotels which is why I typed in … Hilton hotels.

There’s a reason I want a Hilton and not just any hotel. I joined the Hilton Honors program so I can earn points when I stay there. I accumulate points and get perks when I save up enough points. Currently, I’m on track to receive a $2 bottle of water for using 100,000,000,000,000,000 points. It’s a lofty goal … but I’m committed! (Yes, I’m exaggerating … slightly … but you get the point. We’ll save the ridiculous amount of points you have to acquire to receive minuscule rewards for another post!)

Every year Google sets aside money for research and development. Every year they seem to spend a little more than the last year. In 2018 the company spent $21,000,000,000 on R&D. YES! That’s $21 billion with a B! They are looking towards the future and investing money in Artificial Intelligence.

I’m sure it costs a lot of money to be on the cutting edge of new, exciting technologies like that … but maybe they can spare a few million dollars to go back and re-tool one of their old technologies … so it fucking works like it’s supposed to! They are so busy trying to beat all the other tech companies to the “next big technology” that they don’t focus on making what they’ve already created work better.

Does Google even work on Maps anymore? I’m thinking they don’t otherwise they would have fixed the voice navigation it gives. I can’t even count how many times that bitch is silent and then pipes up to say:

“Turn left in 20 feet … (beep, beep) … rerouting …”

How about a little more notice for fuck’s sake! You’re tracking my every move. It didn’t occur to you to let me know that a turn was coming up … before I was actually at the intersection!? She either won’t shut up or she gives directions after I’ve passed where I need to go. (I guess that’s why Google chose a female voice. Whoa! Relax ladies! I’m just kidding!)

Oh … and maybe this is just me … but why do they have to switch the background to black when it’s night time. I’m looking out the fucking windshield. I know it’s night time. Just keep it the gray color.

Google doesn’t worry whether Maps works well or not! As far as they are concerned it’s mastered. No! No Google … it’s not mastered! Let’s take a little of that R&D budget and go back and work on Maps. I think you can spare a few million to make it better.

As far as I’m concerned, they have an obligation to make that shit work flawlessly because there are no alternatives anymore! Do you remember Thomas Guides!? It’s not like you can find one of those anywhere! Google Maps was definitely a large part of their demise. And for all you assholes that have to prove me wrong and say:

“There’s an alternative … you can use Bing Maps.

Fuck off! Yeah …while I’m at it, I can log into my A.O.L. account using Netscape on my dial-up modem. Bing Maps is old and it sucks! It’s as bad as Vista was and should die off too.

One last complaint I have about Google Maps has less to do with the actual application and more to do with the unintended consequences it has created. This new generation has no idea how to get somewhere without their phones telling them where to go.

If I try to give a younger person directions, they get confused if the directions are more than turn right at the next light. They anxiously tell me nevermind … I’ll just Map it!

I remember my old man had the entire south land mapped out in his head. He did outside sales so he knew where everything was. If I was lost, I could call him … from a pay phone of course … and tell him what I see around me and he could tell me exactly where I was and how to get where I needed to go!

I think those days are over. Those were the good ‘ol days when … Oh shit! I’m starting to sound like my grandparents!

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