Google Maps

Am I the only one who gets pissed when I type in something specific and Google comes back with unrequested results!? For example … I was going on a trip and I typed in Hilton Hotels into Google Maps. What pops up!? Every hotel in the area … except a Hilton. If I wanted to see every hotel in the area, then I would have searched the generic term “hotel” and not been specific. If I type in specifically Hilton … then just show me the fucking Hilton hotels and nothing else!

I don’t want to see a Marriott. I don’t want to see a Hyatt. I don’t want to see a Best Western and I certainly don’t want to see any Motel 6 pop up! I want Hilton hotels which is why I typed in … Hilton hotels.

There’s a reason I want a Hilton and not just any hotel. I joined the Hilton Honors program so I can earn points when I stay there. I accumulate points and get perks when I save up enough points. Currently, I’m on track to receive a $2 bottle of water for using 100,000,000,000,000,000 points. It’s a lofty goal … but I’m committed! (Yes, I’m exaggerating … slightly … but you get the point. We’ll save the ridiculous amount of points you have to acquire to receive minuscule rewards for another post!)

Every year Google sets aside money for research and development. Every year they seem to spend a little more than the last year. In 2018 the company spent $21,000,000,000 on R&D. YES! That’s $21 billion with a B! They are looking towards the future and investing money in Artificial Intelligence.

I’m sure it costs a lot of money to be on the cutting edge of new, exciting technologies like that … but maybe they can spare a few million dollars to go back and re-tool one of their old technologies … so it fucking works like it’s supposed to! They are so busy trying to beat all the other tech companies to the “next big technology” that they don’t focus on making what they’ve already created work better.

Does Google even work on Maps anymore? I’m thinking they don’t otherwise they would have fixed the voice navigation it gives. I can’t even count how many times that bitch is silent and then pipes up to say:

“Turn left in 20 feet … (beep, beep) … rerouting …”

How about a little more notice for fuck’s sake! You’re tracking my every move. It didn’t occur to you to let me know that a turn was coming up … before I was actually at the intersection!? She either won’t shut up or she gives directions after I’ve passed where I need to go. (I guess that’s why Google chose a female voice. Whoa! Relax ladies! I’m just kidding!)

Oh … and maybe this is just me … but why do they have to switch the background to black when it’s night time. I’m looking out the fucking windshield. I know it’s night time. Just keep it the gray color.

Google doesn’t worry whether Maps works well or not! As far as they are concerned it’s mastered. No! No Google … it’s not mastered! Let’s take a little of that R&D budget and go back and work on Maps. I think you can spare a few million to make it better.

As far as I’m concerned, they have an obligation to make that shit work flawlessly because there are no alternatives anymore! Do you remember Thomas Guides!? It’s not like you can find one of those anywhere! Google Maps was definitely a large part of their demise. And for all you assholes that have to prove me wrong and say:

“There’s an alternative … you can use Bing Maps.

Fuck off! Yeah …while I’m at it, I can log into my A.O.L. account using Netscape on my dial-up modem. Bing Maps is old and it sucks! It’s as bad as Vista was and should die off too.

One last complaint I have about Google Maps has less to do with the actual application and more to do with the unintended consequences it has created. This new generation has no idea how to get somewhere without their phones telling them where to go.

If I try to give a younger person directions, they get confused if the directions are more than turn right at the next light. They anxiously tell me nevermind … I’ll just Map it!

I remember my old man had the entire south land mapped out in his head. He did outside sales so he knew where everything was. If I was lost, I could call him … from a pay phone of course … and tell him what I see around me and he could tell me exactly where I was and how to get where I needed to go!

I think those days are over. Those were the good ‘ol days when … Oh shit! I’m starting to sound like my grandparents!

Big Pharma Commercials

I’m a live and let live kind of guy.

I don’t believe in much government intervention … but … I’m starting to wonder if they shouldn’t step in and put some standards in place for all these drug company commercials. I know! I know! It goes against everything I believe too … but these commercials are getting out of hand and the networks are such money whores that they will sell air time to anyone except maybe a boy’s summer camp run by the Catholic Church. Who are we kidding … they’d sell them air time too!

There is a new drug commercial coming out every few weeks now telling us we might have “this” problem and to talk with your doctor!

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that medicine has come so far that we have a pill for just about anything that ails you … but shouldn’t these ailments affect people’s lives to the point that they feel they should go to their doctor and have it checked rather than going because they saw a commercial for some pill. America is turning into a bunch of hypochondriacs! People see these commercials and go to their doctor and ask them if they need to be taking this pill.

Patient: So I was wondering if I should take Humira?

Doctor: What symptoms are you having?

Patient: None … but I want to catch it ahead of time.

Doctor: Catch what ahead of time?

Patient: Whatever Humira cures!

It doesn’t help that half of the commercials don’t even tell you what the pill is for and if they do … half of the time you have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about! If you did, you could just dismiss it as a pill someone else needs to take and go on with your day. But these commercials are vague and put doubt and anxiety in a lot of people’s mind. This makes them go to the doctor when they don’t need to … just to make sure they shouldn’t be taking it.

Don’t think for a second this is an accident. The pharmaceutical companies are doing this on purpose. These companies are in the money making businessnot the wellness business.

If they were … they would only advertise to doctors. They would be advertising in doctor’s magazines or at a doctor’s trade show … but they’re not. They are advertising to the public to try to sell more pills.

Take for instance Humira. I’m not singling them out as worse than any of the others … but they spent the most in commercial advertising last year … $375,000,000. That’s right … $375 million on commercials for their product! That seems like a lot of money to spend on public air time if it’s only directed towards doctors.

Americans have become anxious and high strung. They can’t deal with stress or cope with problems anymore. They don’t need to think there is some new thing wrong with them that they need to take a pill for. Why the hell do you think voters in half the states are legalizing marijuana!? They figure if they make weed legal they’ll just stay baked all day and then the problems they have won’t feel so overwhelming.

Hmmm … maybe that’s why pharmaceutical companies are pushing their products on television so hard now … because they have to deal with marijuana being legal in so many states. They’ve lost market share! They used to have the market cornered on pain control … but now everyone is just self-medicating with weed.

You wouldn’t think they would want to advertise these commercials to the public since they have to disclose any side effects of the pills. Then again, if they have the same outlook towards the populace that I do, they figure it’s no big deal. Most people have a short attention span so they figure if they put the side effects at the end of the commercial … most people have already tuned out. The side effects are worse than any fucking thing the pill is going to cure.


Below is the “Safety Information” related to taking Humira …

Serious infections have happened in people taking HUMIRA. These serious infections include tuberculosis (TB) and infections caused by viruses, fungi, or bacteria that have spread throughout the body. Some people have died from these infections. For children and adults taking TNF blockers, including HUMIRA, the chance of getting lymphoma or other cancers may increase. There have been cases of unusual cancers in children, teenagers, and young adults using TNF blockers. Some people have developed a rare type of cancer called hepatosplenic T-cell lymphoma. This type of cancer often results in death.

TUBERCULOSIS and CANCER?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I think I’ll just deal with a little arthritis.


Not to single out Humira, here is the “Safety Information” for Lyrica …

LYRICA and LYRICA CR may cause serious, even life-threatening, allergic reactions. Stop taking LYRICA or LYRICA CR and call your doctor right away if you have any signs of a serious allergic reaction. Some signs are swelling of your face, mouth, lips, gums, tongue, throat or neck, if you have any trouble breathing, or have a rash, hives, blisters, or skin redness. LYRICA and LYRICA CR may cause suicidal thoughts. Do not stop taking LYRICA or LYRICA CR without talking to your doctor. If you stop suddenly, you may have headaches, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, increased sweating, or you may feel anxious. If you have epilepsy, you may have seizures more often.

LIFE-THREATING ALLERGIC REACTION and BLISTERS?! SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!? Maybe Fibromyalgia doesn’t seem so bad? The ironic part of this one is it can be taken for partial onset seizures but in the last line of the “Safety Information” it says you may have more seizures than often. Then why the fuck would someone take it!? Tell me they are not just trying to sell pills!


Here is the “Safety Information” for Xarelto …

Unexpected bleeding or bleeding that lasts a long time, such as: Nosebleeds that happen often, Unusual bleeding from gums, Menstrual bleeding that is heavier than normal, or vaginal bleeding. Bleeding that is severe or you cannot control. Red, pink, or brown urine. Bright red or black stools (looks like tar). Cough up blood or blood clots. Vomit blood or your vomit looks like “coffee grounds”. Headaches, feeling dizzy or weak. Pain, swelling, or new drainage at wound sites.

BROWN URINE and VOMIT THAT LOOKS LIKE COFFEE GROUNDS!? This one has some unique side effects! Vomit like coffee grounds!? What the fuck!? This one is treating some serious stuff like nonvalvular atrial fibrillation and deep vein thrombosis … so you may not care if you shit tar!


I’m no doctor but I can only imagine what a headache these commercials have caused for their profession. First they have to deal with everybody becoming pseudo-doctors with the amount of information on Google …

… and now we’re going to start telling them what pills we think we should take based upon a commercial!

I’m fortunate enough not to need any of the above mentioned pills but if you do … I’m glad they are available for you. I’m NOT trying to get them banned … I don’t believe in that. I’m just trying to get some truth in advertising from these drug companies. Don’t make a commercial with people having a great time running in the park or dancing or having coffee with friends … or hiking to a mountain top with their kid.

Let’s make this shit real. Show some real life pictures of the ailment the medicine treats and then say “… this pill will help with that but these are the known side effects.” Stop making the commercials look like they are promos for a fucking vacation. It’s fucking with people’s head! Pills that have side effects like … oh, I don’t know … death … shouldn’t be advertised like they’re amazing and everyone should take them. But they don’t really care if you need it or not … because really they are just trying to sell more prescriptions.