Grocery Line Cellphone Etiquette

Is your phone call so fucking important that you can’t end it to interact with the cashier!?

Are you on the phone to the U.N. with the solution to world hunger?

Are you on the phone to the government of Africa with a solution to their potable water problem?

Are you on the phone with the American Cancer Society with the breakthrough cure for cancer?

If not, then hang up your fucking phone asshole and conduct yourself like a civil human being! Do you think you’re better than the person working the register? I watched a person in front of me talk on their phone from the time they got in line until the time they walked out the door? The cashier asking them questions only to get a head nod while droning on into the phone about their weekend plans. “Do you need bags?” Completely ignores the cashier. The cashier politely asks again, only to get a pissed look that they interrupted them while they are on the phone. They shake their head NO … while never breaking from the phone conversation . Do you think you’re so important that normal rules don’t apply to you? Unfortunately, this seems to be the ever growing case! People more and more think that they are something special and don’t need to show other people respect. Trust me, you’re not as important as you think you are.

Overfilling Cups

Don’t hand me a cup that you overfilled without wiping it off! This is especially true when I get a soda through the drive-thru and you are handing me a cup that I’m going to put into my cup holder! The soda is sticky and without a doubt will transfer to my cup holder … thus making my cup holder sticky! Sure, you may give me a few extra napkins … but wiping it down with a dry napkin is not going to do shit! All it does is move the soda around the outside of the cup and now I have a sticky cup AND a wet sticky napkin. The same thing goes for coffee … or really … any drink. It’s just lazy customer service! I’m not going to get upset it you stiff me liquid a 1/4″ from the top. Let’s be real, if I’m getting a soda, you’ve already filled the cup to the top with ice so I’m not getting much anyways … so 1/4″ is not going to make a bit of difference!

Coke Freestyle Machines

These are the machines that are in various places like the movie theaters that have every possible soda in one kiosk. You pick on the digital screen which flavor you want, press the button and that soda is dispensed. The first time I saw these, I thought “Wow! That’s cool!” Then I used it. Although, you have all those flavors at your fingertips, I’m pretty much a traditionalist. I just want a Classic Coke to go with my popcorn. I maneuver through the tediously long list to get to my selection. I fill up my cup and taste it before I put the lid on and … it taste like Cherry Coke. I didn’t pick Cherry Coke, I picked Classic Coke! I thought maybe the bags had been switched and just accepted it because the movie was gonna start soon. The next time I went, the same thing happened but now I have Vanilla Coke. What the fuck!? Well, I finally figured out that whatever flavor came through the dispenser last time … you’re gonna get some of that flavor in your cup also! I figured, okay, I can work around this. Next time I fill up, I’m going to let it run for a few seconds to get the previous flavor out before I put my cup in there. I thought it was a brilliant idea … until I did it and the Coke hit the grating and splashed all over the front of me! AND … it didn’t work! I drank Lime Coke that time. Who the hell is drinking Lime Coke!? Anytime I see those machines somewhere I shrug my shoulders and accept defeat. I have yet not to taste some rogue flavor coming out of those dispensers every time I fill up. At least they have finally made a “shortcut” button to Classic Coke on the first screen … which really doesn’t make much difference because it’s never just Classic Coke flavor. And one more thing about these machines – when I fill up my cup, since there is a mile from the nozzle and the bottom of the cup, it creates foam. In the time I wait for the foam to go down so that I can top off my cup … the fucking machine has reset and I have to select the flavor again. I have to do this numerous times until the cup has filled. Seriously!?

Movie Theater Clappers

Movie Theater Audience

There is no reason to clap after a movie! Do you clap at home after you watched something you really liked!? I doubt it! The only time I could possibly think it would be appropriate to clap after a movie is if someone who was actually in the movie … is in the theater with you. Then, you’re letting them know that you enjoyed their performance … much like you do at a play … where there is a cast to receive your applause. There is nothing but a screen and projector receiving your applause at a movie. What the fuck are you doing? Is it a mating call for the lonely? A normal person will walk out of the theater and as they are walking back to their car talk about what they liked. Come on people!