Single Use Plastic Bag Ban

This law is one of the biggest scams ever. [The bullet train gets the title for the biggest scam … but this is a close runner up.] So, in California we now have to bring our own bags to the grocery store to bag our groceries or purchase a bag from the store. What bags are they selling? Plastic! I thought the whole idea behind this stupid fucking law was to cut down on the amount of plastic bags that ended up in the ocean. If they are selling plastic bags … it doesn’t seem like that’s going to help. All the law is really about is making money for the grocery chains … and I’m okay with that … if that’s how you frame it. Don’t give me some bullshit though about how it’s for the environment. Whenever some company wants to raise prices or enact something they know isn’t going to be popular, they go straight to the “heart string” phrases. You know … phrases like:

  • It’s for the children.
  • It’s to save the environment.
  • It’s to save these helpless animals (cue the Sarah McLachen music with the image of a shivering dog).

These are the phrases that enact immediate sympathy and will open the checkbook of any moron who doesn’t want to take the time to do any research. They will donate or vote however you tell them to, just so they can get back to watching their fucking cat videos and not have to think too hard.

First, it was no more paper bags. We’re killing our trees! So, we come up with an alternative: plastic bags. Now … we’re killing our oceans! Make up your fucking mind what you want! I have to have something to bring my groceries home in. The simple fact is humans create waste and passing this law is not going to change that. Now, we buy thicker plastic bags that end up in the same fucking place … but take longer to decompose. What!? You couldn’t foresee that one happening? I don’t want to re-use my bag because the bottom of it has chicken juice in it that will for sure give me salmonella, right!? Well, wash your bag then. Nobody wants to wash their re-usable bags people! In case you haven’t noticed, we have become an instant gratification society. Do you think anybody is going to take the time to wash their grocery bags? Besides, even if I did wash them, I’d fucking forget them at home and have to buy new bags anyways! And that’s what it’s all about. I know this because for a while you could ask for paper bags after this law was enacted … at no charge. So, everyone started going back to paper bags … obviously. Then, “Oh, we don’t have any paper bags. Sorry.” Then, what do you know, when they have more paper bags … they start charging for them.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but you can still get those single use plastic bags at places like Home Depot or a myriad of other places … at no charge. So, it wasn’t ever really about saving our oceans, otherwise they would have passed a law banning them altogether. It was just about grocery stores wanting to charge for them.