Asking To Move Down

I got to the movie theater early so that I could pick my seat. I knew I would have to sit in the theater entertaining myself for 30 minutes before the movie started. I do this because I want to enjoy my movie in the perfect seat… especially as much as going to the movies costs these days! I settle into my seat and get comfortable. I eyeball everyone walking up the stairs … praying that they sit in another row. If they do come to my row, then I pray that they leave the required space between myself and them … like any sane person does. Okay, they did the socially acceptable move and left a seat space. Whew! Still kind of close … but I adjust. Now I’m watching people come up the stairs on the other side. They’re coming down my aisle. They leave a space. Whew! Okay, that’s all done now, so I’m set and I can get ready to watch the movie with no more interruptions! The movie is about to start and the theater is pretty full. I can’t believe people waited this long to try to come into the theater. They’re going to have to sit in the front and crane their necks. Oh well! … that’s what happens when you wait until the last minute to try and find a seat.

Why are those people coming up the stairs looking at me!? They’re a couple … there’s no place for them to sit. There are only single seats on either side of me. They’re still coming this way. Don’t you even fucking think about it!

“Excuse me, do you mind scooting down so that we can sit there?”

You’ve got to be kidding me!? Who do these people think they are!? You expect to come into the theater 30 seconds before the movie starts and get my perfectly centered seat … that I came early to get? No fucking way! I look at him and say “No.” He looks at me in utter shock and disbelief … like I’m being unreasonable. What’s unreasonable is expecting me to move out of my seat because you couldn’t get your ass down to the theater early. These are unwritten rules of society people! Maybe there are idiots out there who are nice enough to move for a self-aggrandizing asshole … but I’m not that person. Go sit down at the front! Maybe next time you should plan ahead … and I hope your neck is killing you by the end of the movie!

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