No Produce in the Self Checkout Lane

The whole point of the self checkout lane is to speed up the process of checking out. (This eliminates having to stand in line behind the customer who apparently is shopping for the Duggar family and is going to be there for the next three weeks.) If you only have a few items, you walk up to the self checkout, scan the items, insert your card and you’re done. What prevents this from being an efficient process? The asshole who brings fucking fruits and vegetables to the lane. Sure, you can bring them to the line to checkout but should you … NO! To get these items checked out you have to search through pictures 17 levels deep to find your item … and then the machine has to weigh it … then the whole process starts all over again for every piece of produce you have! Go to the fucking cashier lane with that shit!

“But they have little stickers with the scan thing on them.” Yeah … but they never work! And they know that and that’s why they put the pictures of the shit! The sticker is curved around your cucumber so it distorts the lines that the machine reads. So what does the moron in front of me do? He tries to scan it with a twist of his hand thinking this will do the trick. It doesn’t. Then he continues to do the same thing 20 more times, determined that one of these times it will work! And don’t get me started on the dumbshit who tries to read the bar code through the plastic bag! Again, not working … but they’re going to keep trying because they know one of these times it’s going to scan! All the while, I’m starting to boil over on the inside watching this shit … and a long line is forming behind me.

Self checkout lines were created for items that scan and go. All other shit … go to the fucking line with the cashier! Also, don’t get in the self checkout lane with a FULL cart of groceries. All you’re going to do is make the people behind you contemplate if they could murder you and get away with it! There are unwritten rules to using the self checkout machines. If you’re not sure what they are, I’ll tell you next time you’re in front of me fucking everything up for the rest of us!

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